This afternoon on a prayer walk the very uncomfortable
almost painful pressure in my upper belly started again. I couldn’t stop it. The Lord said quite clearly, “You are afraid
to talk with Me, I want to talk with you.”
That is exactly true. I had been
suppressing hearing the voice of the Lord within because, I will be honest,
I’ve been doubting some of the things I believe He told me about my life. I can’t equate myself with the greats in the
Bible. But I do relate to David who
received a promise and found himself hiding in a cave, the opposite condition
from his promise. Or Joseph who also
received a promise and found himself in the opposite condition in a
prison. So I thought, no more
voices! I will just not listen! Maybe I’m not hearing my heavenly Father
after all! Yet the Bible says His Spirit
lives in me, within my very being and person through faith in the Messiah, and
Jesus said I should know and recognize His voice. But forget all that, I’d rather pretend He
doesn’t talk to me and just shut out that voice in my belly!
So on the walk I capitulated. And He talked, not a lot, but indeed
clearly. And boy did my belly gurgle and
gurgle like a pipe that was getting unclogged by a benevolent plumber. What He shared was for me personally and, as
is His way, so kind but also an “upward call” in line with what a Father would
share who seeks spiritually mature children and not instantly gratified,
worldly children.
So this evening, as I am writing this, all the discomfort
from the last two weeks in my upper abdomen has absolutely disappeared. Not from a change in diet, but from a change
in heart. This evening in my kitchen He
wanted to speak some more, I resisted, and the uncomfortable bubbling and
contortions in my belly started again.
So I bowed my head, yielded my spirit and ears to Him, and He
spoke. I realized how silly is the cryptic
language most Christians, including myself, seek. Signs via
dreams or numbers flashing on a clock or unusual wildlife behavior or
little snippets of phrases. Yes, the
Lord uses all of that to speak to us and confirm. But “the Lord would speak to Moses face to
face, as a man speaks with his friend.”
Exodus 33:11 (NIV)
I know I am to post this tonight otherwise I suspect I
will not be able to sleep until I do.
And I don’t want to toss and turn with gurgling that feels like an ulcer
so I will obey. The Lord doesn’t want His
children to talk only in dreams and signs with Him. He is beckoning those who want to talk face
to face, in sentences, in very clear words spoken by Him within and non-obtuse
visions given by Him. I suspect now that
I yield my ears to Him and stop doubting what I have heard in the past, that
the very uncomfortable and almost painful gurgling in my belly will not return. And that His desire, that others hear full
sentences like Moses did, will be accomplished.
