If you have
followed my blog I’ve testified the Lord has provided just enough just in time
over the last couple of years. I have high
expenses because of my Californian home.
There is nowhere in the Bible that says, “thou shalt have a lovely home
in California”. So I’ve been willing to
sell and have "put it on the altar” numerous times, in church speak. But the Lord proved His will to me and kept
providing in the most unusual ways. He
made it clear to me my own workaholic efforts were toil and vanities because
oftentimes the prospects I worked hardest cultivating ended up not becoming
clients after all. And then at very last
minute a brand new client I had never met before appeared out of the blue. Such has been 2010 through this year.
But now the lesson
is changing with me. For the last two
years I have kept a very careful eye on my expenses, tallying everything in a
spreadsheet and sometimes looking at my projected expenses and income every
day. But I also stepped out in faith and
made some investments. So money is
starting to expand slowly in my bank account by His grace. However, yesterday He made it clear He wants
me to listen to Him before I purchase something, and not check my budget spreadsheet
if I will have sufficient funds. This
has pushed me into an area of discomfort, wondering if I will hear Him
correctly on what to purchase and what not to.
When I started agreeing with Him that I wouldn’t look at my spreadsheet
and plug in the new potential expenses, then I realized I could hear His voice
exceedingly clearly. How insidious the
whispers of money are, of your budget!!
What I rationalized as being a good steward was actually excess yielding
to the dictates of money. The word “dictates”
I chose because dictates means to “lay down authoritatively, prescribe, to say”. The root word is the same as in diction, it
is about speaking. When you are watching
your pennies closely those pennies will “speak” to you and muddle your hearing
God. We can’t listen to both God and
money.
Here is an
example. This evening I needed a
binder. I went into my garage sensing a
binder would be there somewhere. I found
a single binder, buried, and only one.
It was very dusty from years ago.
When I came back inside and started putting the hole-punched papers in
the binder I heard the Lord say, “How did you know there was a binder in the
garage?” His question stopped me. I realized I just knew, I just knew because
of His Spirit lightly leading me to explore the garage. He didn’t need to say anything more for me to
realize He was telling me His Spirit should similarly lead me in all my
activities, including purchases, and not my spreadsheet. Of course, I constantly pray and seek His
guidance before any purchase, but He is wanting to refine my listening further in
saying there is an insidious voice of money speaking from my budget. What if He says to do it and my budget says I
shouldn’t, I should keep more money in the bank? He’s proved to me these past years that when
I’m in step with Him, the money that is needed for my flowing in His desires
for my life will always be there. I need
some repairs on the house and He has said to just get the repairs done and not
hesitate, He has always provided. I
wanted to help a non-profit and He put me in a position to greatly help
financially and with my time, which gave me immense joy. None of these things were in my carefully
controlled budget spreadsheet.
So I will end by
saying I’m astounded how insidious the whispers of money are, especially
through what we might rationalize as good stewardship. The many ways it has us listening to its
sneaky voice. It whispers, “you can’t
fix that or buy that because you don’t have the money.” Or, “if you worked a little harder, then you
would have the money you need.” Or, “if
you gave a little more, that’s the equation for God to bless you more.” Or, “why are you buying that for yourself
when you could help the poor more instead?”
That chatter of mammon with the little gray clouds of oppression and gloom
are not the Kingdom’s way, I believe. The
way of the Kingdom is a lightness in God, almost a floating feeling, where you
just do what He says – even if your budget spreadsheet makes you nervous – and allow
Him to be your Father, allow Him to be your provider… not you. It takes all the weight off your shoulders
when you simply accept His sweet presents and surprises. The more He surprises and blesses me the more
I want to surprise and bless others. Isn’t
that a way of the Kingdom?
