All... In

A prophetic friend, Ignacio, shared with me he thought this past weekend was going to be a very deep time with the Lord for me. And another prophetic friend, Eagle, sent me a half a dozen articles that spoke of intimacy with Christ and the price He paid to allow us to live freely in and for Him. It was a very deep weekend for me. First, there was no electricity at my home in the Sierra Nevada for the whole weekend and I lit fires to keep the home warm and burned candles. On the night of April 2, with the fire crackling, candles burning and a blanket over me, I started seeing Jesus very close, a few feet away. He was bent over towards me so I could see His gashed back, jagged and deep wounds full of warm blood. His back appeared almost three times wider than the size of a normal man. All that filled my field of vision was just His back with the many deep gashes. I kept looking at His back. I was in a very somber, weighty and reflective mood, drawn close to His sacrifice. He paid my debts, all of them. That was His choice to be flogged and tortured mercilessly. His was the final sacrifice on the eternal altar of God for me, being God Himself, the fully divine Son of God. He was the offering of all offerings, the sacrifice of all sacrifices, the King of all kings, the tithe of all tithes, the fulfillment of all Moses’ law which no man can fulfill, the cancelling of all debts held against us. All I fixated on for many minutes, I think perhaps fifteen minutes but I had no track of time, were those long, deep, bloody gashes. And that His back was three times the size of a normal man’s. Of course this is a vision and not reality. His triple-sized back in the vision represents the fact His back and wounds were wide enough to cover me entirely, to cover all my shortcomings and sins.
I believe I started falling asleep because this time was so heavy and somber. So I threw a couple more logs on the fire to have a half-warm house for another hour while I went to bed. Still fixated on His back, still drawn close to His deeply ripped and torn flesh, I heard, “Allen! Allen! Allen!” Allen is the street I turn on before I get to the street my Sierra Mountains home is on. I thought, “Allen? Allen? Lord, I don’t understand. What about Allen?” Then, deep within my spirit and very slow, I with His Spirit pronounced, “All… In. All… In.”

I thought in prayer to Him, “Lord, I am all in!” I’ve committed every last penny to KATX and one other private company I invested in and also bought further stock in that private company on the grey market. Yet I really didn’t want to think of money at all. I was so transfixed by just looking at Jesus and His gashed, bloody back. But my mind, I hope it was my spirit and not an unholy imagination but I do not now, saw myself pushing a fairly large pile of chips on a black jack table towards the dealer. But as I was pushing I noticed the dealer was demonic. He even had a couple little horns, red shirt, black tie and the hint of a black cape to add to the effect. But I saw behind Him was Jesus, all in white linen. But the dealer didn’t know Jesus was behind him.

So I pushed my chips, like a trusting sheep seeing Jesus as well, and the dealer’s demonic eyes lit up with greed. He was going to scoop up all my chips and hoard them to himself. But then Jesus tapped the dealer’s left shoulder a few times. The dealer’s head spun around, great fear were in his eyes as he recognized Jesus, and he released all the chips on the table, which seemed to inflate a bit to perhaps double, towards Jesus. Then the dealer left quickly and simply vanished in a haze. I knew my chips were safe. But I really didn’t want to think about money, it turned me off given the intimate time with Jesus before, so I wanted to stop this very brief vision and return to looking at Jesus and what He did for us. Thus, I don’t know if this brief vision was also of Him or was simply my emotions-based imagination. So I returned to looking at Jesus and focused again on His gashed and oversized back. All the punishment that should rain down on me actually hit His back instead. Not to make light of it, but His back is like a holy and impenetrable umbrella, taking all the force of the vicious storm and hail and, thus, protecting me and all of us who believe.

Then the scene changed and Jesus was walking on a dusty road as if 2000 years ago. I don’t know how to describe this, it sounds a bit odd, but my very human person and soul got closer and closer – face to face – to Him (being fully God). If you have any hesitation, Jesus is completely and wholly God and the brilliance of His being thoroughly God Himself was awesome and extremely humbling to me. He wanted to engulf my little soul so I could see as He sees. So, I hope this does not sound too odd, but my weak and puny human soul was there inside of Jesus Christ, as if a passenger in a vehicle to see the world as He does. Then there was a leper in front of us and Jesus prayed and the leper was immediately healed. I felt so small and insignificant, even though I was there inside of Jesus. As a side note, being inside of Jesus – His Spirit on earth in believers - is actually scriptural, although know what I experienced was a vision, “A little while longer and the world will see Me no more, but you will see Me. Because I live, you will live also. At that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you.” John 14:19-20 (NKJV)

So I told the Lord, “You can heal the leper”, emphasizing, “You.” But I didn’t think I could, even though in the past I have prayed for some serious illnesses and those I prayed for received healing. But in this vision I was feeling so powerless. Jesus said, “This power is from the Father,” which is true. The Father sent the third Person of the Godhead, the Holy Spirit, to Jesus Christ when He walked the earth 2000 years ago. In the vision Jesus prayed for someone else and I, the whole time in this vision, was extremely uncomfortable actually being in Jesus, His divine person, and watching His perspective. He sensed that and let me out, if you will.

In the next frame of the vision I was either in the Apostle Paul or Peter, also as if in the passenger seat. They, too, were praying for people and sharing the good news of Jesus Christ risen and Lord of all creation. I was uncomfortable seeing from their perspective, but since they are humans, I felt a little easier seeing from their perspective and being in the very same Holy Spirit who was in and on them (I hope this is making sense, this is a spiritual matter and simply a vision and not reality, because there is no way would I actually be in reality in either of the Apostles, this was just to give me perspective to their perspective).

This was all very weighty and somber and deep for me. I simply felt so humble and small. The apostles would have been weak as well without being in Christ and having His wisdom and power of His Holy Spirit enabling them to do His work. I then fell asleep.

The next day I told this vision to Eagle. Immediately he said to the Allen being All-in, “That means All Into Jesus, we are to press even more into Him.” He has been getting a similar message from the Lord.

All I know is I am fixated by Jesus now. I was before but now I am much more. All I want is to know more of Him. To be all-in Him. To enter all in and withhold nothing back. This evening I could feel myself shuddering a little as I committed myself even further to Him, to be clothed by Him rather than clothed by the trappings of the world. When we think we enter into Him, we realize that there is always further to go, further to commit. I don’t know where this will end up. But I do know, it is always worth casting off the vestiges of this world, the lust of the eyes and lust of the flesh, and step into His very Presence, into the magnificence of the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ Himself. His Presence needs to be our clothing, we are commanded to make this a pattern in our life. We are not worthy by our deeds. But He, through His laying down His life for us, names us as worthy through our belief and trust in Him. So I want that gift so desperately. I want to be as fully in Him as I can be. I feel although I passed through the door, the depth of His Presence is very deep indeed.

Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature. Romans 13:14 (NIV)

All of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. Gal 3:27 (NIV)

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. He who has an ear, let him hear.” Rev 3:20-22 (NKJV)